I feel things deeply but my desire is like a pure crystal. This is the rarest, most beautiful part of me, that sparkles brightly in the crowd.
—Qiu Miaojin, Last Words From Montmartre (translated by Ari Larissa Heinrich)
My heart’s aflutter!
I am standing in the bath tub
crying. Mother, mother
who am I? If he
will just come back once
and kiss me on the face
his coarse hair brush
my temple, it’s throbbing!
then I can put on my clothes
I guess, and walk the streets.
I love you. I love you,
but I’m turning to my verses
and my heart is closing
like a fist.
sick as I am sick, swoon,
roll back your eyes, a pool,
and I’ll stare down
at my wounded beauty
which at best is only a talent
Cannot please, cannot charm or win
what a poet!
and the clear water is thick
with bloody blows on its head.
I embrace a cloud,
but when I soared
That’s funny! there’s blood on my chest
oh yes, I’ve been carrying bricks
what a funny place to rupture!
and now it is raining on the ailanthus
as I step out onto the window ledge
the tracks below me are smoky and
glistening with a passion for running
I leap into the leaves, green like the sea
Now I am quietly waiting for
the catastrophe of my personality
to seem beautiful again,
and interesting, and modern.
The country is grey and
brown and white in trees,
snows and skies of laughter
always diminishing, less funny
not just darker, not just grey.
It may be the coldest day of
the year, what does he think of
that? I mean, what do I? And if I do,
perhaps I am myself again.
anon, i am going to let you into the greatest tragedy of living in canada: we do not get the same amazing variety of girl scout cookies you americans do.
i know. it’s terrible.
for the longest time we only had the boxes of half-chocolate half-vanilla sandwich cookies, and i still infinitely prefer the vanilla. but! now we also get thin mints and i always buy a tonne of those.
honestly though i’d buy girl scout cookies even if i didn’t eat them because i am ALL ABOUT supporting that badass organization.
DOES GRANTAIRE LIKE CHAGALL i think i will be very disappointed if he doesn’t like chagall
lmaaaaaaaaaao i just got a message from soemily about this, you two get me where i live
also like, Yury Pen’s portrait of Chagall is just Grantaire imo
i live in the certainty that chagall’s windows help grantaire hope
this is actually very relevant to my new headcanon young!r, as i’d previously thought that he’d be from provence somewhere. but thinking of chagall always makes me think of the day i spent public-crying at the chagall museum in nice, so, now i’m thinking:
r grows up in the poorer, grungier area of nice, and spends whole days skipping classes and sketching in the gardens of the chagall museum. sometimes he hops trains without a ticket to visit the picasso museum in cannes, and he’s gone as far abroad as arles to wander the places that van gogh painted.
when he gets to paris for art school, unlike most painters from the south, he’s delighted by the greyness of the light (at first) instead of the blues and golds he’s used to.
i also see Grantaire really into the Stuckism movement mostly for its slogan - anti-anti-art bc he is a little shit
but also because Elsa Dax
oh my god absolutely